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You have habitual thoughts (my example, for this quiz, as I look at watermelon rinds and onion skins: “I wish I cleaned up after cooking”)
And maybe an action-habit (cleaning up after cooking would be obvious…) would “fix” that unpleasant thought…
But will it stick? Pick an example for you and let’s explore.
Let’s dive into your own wisdom and experiences, with this little quiz / set of questions.
Please take as quick or as long as seems right with the questions! You can always come back and start again. If you want a record of your answers, you can enter your email at the final screen to get your responses mailed to you. (That will sign you up to my mailing list if that’s not how you got here in the first place – it’ll be once a week, same format.) Thanks for playing!
Have you chosen a habitual judgy thought yet? Then let’s go!
1/6
Does it seem like a new, better habit would “fix” your judgy thoughts?
ie, “If only I DID better, I would feel/think better!”
Click to customize
Um, is this a trick question?
I try.
Yes, obviously.
Next
2/6
Ok, so you’ve [cleaned, or your equivalent].
What happens next time the [counter gets messy]?
I get mad at myself again, judge myself again, and I guess I do the habit again.
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Add RecommendationAdd TagsI curse the neverending toil of life. Bother and bummer.
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Add RecommendationAdd TagsI realize that what makes it a habit not a one-time thing.
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Add RecommendationAdd TagsIt will be easier to do the next time because I have done it at least once so it’s closer to habit.
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Add RecommendationAdd TagsIt will be easier to do next time because I was so happy with how it turned out last time – yay there’s a reward for doing it!
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Add RecommendationAdd TagsActually,
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3/6
What would you have to be thinking to do [the thing / your habit] all the time, automatically?
(feel free to steal any of the good ones of these – which sounds most believable? Which seem like it will help you do [your thing] more frequently?)
That… doesn’t seem possible. I hate it, and it’s always going to be tough.
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Add RecommendationAdd TagsI will punish myself (by hating myself, denying myself rest) so I get it done.
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Add RecommendationAdd TagsI will bring in someone else so I do the thing. Enroll in a challenge, invite friends over… that will get me to do it.
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Add RecommendationAdd TagsI am a person who does [the thing] because I should, and I do what I should.
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Add RecommendationAdd TagsI am a person who does [the thing] because I WANT to do [specific thing].
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Add RecommendationAdd TagsI am a person who does [the thing] because I am a [tidy!] person.
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Add RecommendationAdd TagsType Answer Here
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4/6
Why aren’t you thinking the most-helpful thought yet? What gets in the way?
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5/6
In general, science says that adopting the identity of someone who DOES [the thing], or someone who IS [a quality that makes the habit normal] is the most effective way to make a change stick.
What’s that identity for you?
(Identity is just a repeated thought! There’s seriously never definitive proof, you just decide…)
(Identity is just a repeated thought! There’s seriously never definitive proof, you just decide…)
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6/6
How are you already that person?
(Where does it show up? My counters are messy right now, but I do clean them up at the end of the day. I could celebrate that more to anchor in that identity.
Steal “proof” from anywhere – you’re just stealing the thoughts from -that area- to pull into this area. It’s a good first step!)
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